The Unbearable Heaviness of Negative Inner Narrative
6/5/2022
I have been thinking about the unbearable heaviness of negative personal narrative. All of us, no matter what age, have made choices that did not turn out 100% well for us. Or perhaps we experienced things beyond our control that have become a life-long cross to bear. When our mind is triggered by something and revisits those dark places, it can bring other unwelcome visitors into our soul - harsh words, judgments, criticism, thoughts of our limitations and powerlessness.
This can happen to any of us, any time. Letting go of the past is, of course, the best way to go, but non-attachment is often hard to practice as we suffer and wallow in the unfairness of it all. Then it all mushrooms into an all-encompassing misery as the dark, negative thoughts start impacting our emotions and behavior, affecting our loved ones: our parents, spouses, children, all the way down to our pets.
When and if that happens, I want to invite you to become your very own best friend, right then and there. Think of someone that you love very much, unconditionally, and imagine that they have come to you with all this darkness and misery. What will you tell them? Will you affirm and reinforce their darkest thoughts and words about their life, or will you offer less judgment, more compassion, kindness, a soothing tone of voice, empowering words? Be that friend to yourself, that good friend that you need; be gentle and kind as you soothe your inner turmoil. As the rabbinic sage Hillel the Elder famously said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?”
The world around us, the forever-changing world, is both the most beautiful and the most hellish place. We owe it to ourselves, our family, our community, and the whole world to fight the darkness everywhere, starting with our own souls.
